Day Minus One

Another day passed. A whole lifetime minimized down to 8 hours per day. And sometimes that’s ok with me. I just don’t care. Why should I? For the most part, my life is pretty ok. And that’s the thing that unsettles me the most. The “ok” part.

There are days where I feel like a rebel. Ha, me, a rebel, when the most rebellious act in my life is downloading movies when I go at Starbucks. But sometimes I feel it. I want to challenge life. I want to ask millions of questions but I know that I won’t have a million answers.

I am pretty sure that almost everyone had these thoughts at some time. I don’t think I am special and I am pretty sure I am not even smart but I can’t keep wondering why are we doing this? What is the reason of waking up every morning, coming to this small room, getting a bunch of papers with symbols that I don’t understand and convert them to other strange symbols, based on an even stranger “rule” book. How is the man behind the door that slides these papers to me? Who is the man that gets the “results” and what is doing with them? What am I doing? Am I translating a long lost language? Am I deciphing secret communications? Not knowing what is the reason, is sucking every ounce of sanity from me. And what leaves me scared and afraid is if there is simply no reason behind this. A total waste of a lifetime.

But one day, this will end. I will make sure it will end. I will stop accepting any papers. Or even better, I’ll keep writing “Help!” or “Who are you?” or “What is the meaning of this?” until they stop me, remove me or even kill me. I’ll just refuse, I’ll break down until I get some answers. I will refuse to let another day pass and I will make sure that everybody knows why we are doing this - if there is a reason. Or I’ll just shut up. Because after all, I might not be able to handle the answers.